I want to tell a story about a young boy, named Tremayne.  While I was still in my mother’s wound; Satan had tried to kill me because He knew of the greatness bestowed upon my life.   Little did Satan know of the scripture “touch not my anointed, do my prophet no harm” had already molded and shielded itself around my life.  I was to be one of God’s secret weapons from day one.  

As a few years went by, I began my first day of school.   I can still remember walking into the room and seeing all theboys and girls crying for there mothers as I stood there with a smile on my face looking at this pretty woman, who was known as my kindergarden teacher.  Apparently, the other kids forgot to get the memo to me that when mom walks away I was suppose to yell, scream, kick and cry that famous phrase we know so well of “I want my mommy”.   So being the fact that I was the ONLY one in the classroom other than my teacher not crying I suppose I can say that was the first time I was seen to be an “outcast”.  This was the beginning of the title, ”outcast”  that would reign over me.

I can remember school field trips, oh how wonderful those were (seeing the animals at the zoo, participating in parades, going to Disney land and ect).  There is one field trip I can remember very well.   This field trip in particular, only the boys in the class were allowed to go on.  All the boys had another person with them; these persons were much taller than my classmates and I  and a lot older looking.  All the other boys were outside in the field with these persons playing catch, getting hugs and high fives from these persons.  These persons would occasionally grab my one of my classmates and give them a kiss on the forehead and all begin to say the exact same thing to the person they were holding….”I love you son” and then all the boys would reply “I love you too dad”.  I remember not being allowed to participate in this day.  I was forced to sit on a bench by myself and just watch as all my other classmates had the time of there life.   At that moment I began to think to myself “this dad guy is a really cool dude, I wonder where I could get one….maybe I can ask my mom to take me to Wal-mart this evening and I’ll go to the toy section and get a dad from the shelf”.  I rushed home and ran threw the doors leaving my book bag on the front porch.  I was so overwhelmed with excitement.  I ran to my mother’s leg and hugged it tight and with the cutiest puppy eyes I looked up at my mother and said “can we please go to wal-mart today, Mom pleeeeease”!!   With that loving smile that only a mother can give she replied “Go to Wal-mart?   What toy are you wanting so much that hasyou to rushing into the house and putting on your best show?”  I replied, “oh mom!  They’ve got this great new toy out, called a Dad!   All my friends have one, can I go get one please Mom please Mom please?”  A silence came over the kitchen like never before.  My Mom, who had suddenly been covered with a veil of such heartache and sadness then picked me up, placed me on her lap and began to share with me that daddy’s don’t come from wal-mart.  She informed me of where Dads come from.  At that moment I began to wonder, well if I’m suppose to have a dad…where is he?  Mom began to explain to me where my father was, in prison.  So, I began to ponder and I came up with this brilliant idea, Santa Clause was going to bring me a father.

When it came time for my sisters and I to give Santa our Christmas List, my sisters had these long list of barbie dolls and other materialistic things they wished for Christmas; My list named one thing only, a Daddy.  At the young age of nine, on Christmas day, once I had opened all my present a realization and sadness came over my heart because I had learned that for the rest of my life I would never be able to tell a story “what me and daddy did”.  I quietly excused myself from the family.  I went to the bathroom, curled up in a ball and began to cry.  I began to question so many things; out of all of these wonderful dads in the world why did mine have to be the one that would not be there when I needed him to wrestle with me, take me fishing, take me to ball games, watch TV with me on Sundays and teach me how to treat and respect a lady.  My heart was shattered.

I can remember turning 13, I was finally a teenager, finally the world seemed a little different because I was giving responsibilities and trust. It was a great day! However it would be a day that would soon turn grey. My mother or the doctors actually had discovered a slip disc near her spine that would required surgery, because of the surgery she was no longer able to work and placed on disability, however with some complications with the paper work they held my mom’s disability checks….they held them, and held them, and held them, for 6 years my mother never received a penny of the money that the government was supposalably going to give her. This left my family in a struggle you could never imagine, every day my mom was having to barrow money to pay the bills, get food, keep a roof over our heads and clothes on our backs. There were many nights when my mom would not eat just so she could provide for her 5 children. And I can still remember nights when I could hear her cry herself to sleep asking God “why is this happening to me” and patiently waiting for an answer. And just when she would build up enough courage to fight through it all things would get even worse. I remember in one year when we had to move 13 times because we kept being evicted due to my mother not being able to pay the rent, at one point we were even homeless. My sisters and I were separated Staying with friends from Raleigh North Carolina all the way up to Bluefield West Virginia, while my mom stayed in a homeless shelter. I can remember getting pick on so many times at school because I had wore the same jeans 3 or 4 times in a row while my shoes had only half of a sole in them. There was so much heartache that I was hiding from the world because I always walked around with a smile on my face. There was a span of many Christmases in a row, I believe 5 when my sisters and I would run down the steps in excitement wanting to see what santa had brought us for the holidays….only to be broken but not a single present under the tree, becaue my mother could not afford to get us any. I can remember my twin sister liking her first boy, and she wanted me to go and ask him if he would go out with her…she was so happy, I had never seen my sister glow in such a way. So I approached the boy and told him my sister was head over hills about him and if he would go out with her. He looked me dead in the eyes and responded by saying “I would never go out with her, she looks dirty and mom says your family is homeless and will never amount to anything” …..like a flood being set free from its imprisonment my emotions began to bleed with pain, but as always I stored it away. The only thing I was worried about at the time was the fact that my sisters feelings were going to be crushed…so I began to think, I could make something up that won’t hurt her….that is when I came up with my very first lie, but the lie had brought joy to my sister’s face. She wasn’t sad at all. Then as I turned around a group of boys and girls were starring and one child had the boldness to look at me and say “is it true your homeless” and will all eyes on me my palms began to sweat, knees began to shake, I didn’t know what to do…and then without suddenly I spoke “no that’s not true, we just bought some land and are building a house so we are staying in different places until then” “your building a house!? That’s so cool” one of the kids replied. All of a sudden I wasn’t the guy who had worn the same jeans to school or had holes in his shoes, all of a sudden I was one of the cool kids…and I thought to myself, this lying thing isn’t that bad at all. And for years I began making up stories, giving myself a lifestyle that I didn’t have just to be accepted by others, however that lifestyle became the same poison to my heartache because people began to discover that they were lies and not truths…I began losing the trust of those I had grown so fond of and close too. I began to feel lonelier then ever. And there were many nights I would cry myself to sleep because of all those I had hurt or lost trust with. I felt as if I could never show my face again because no matter where I went someone was always making comments, pointing or whispering “whatever he says is probably a lie” as they picked and giggled under there breath….at this stage in my life I felt as if I would never be able to amount to anything because no matter what I do I would be referred to as the guy who is a pathological liar…..little did I know that God was In the mist this entire time….

I can remember at the age of six, when my God granny brought a keyboard to the house for Christmas, I remember her telling my mom of a dream she had and saying to her “I don’t know why but your son is suppose to have this “ so mom said thank you and gave it to me. I can a Christmas special that was on TV, It was Kirk Franklin sing his music that he loved so much. I loved music with a passion. I had a little play school boom box that I would carry around with me where ever I went. Then when I was able to advance to a cd player I would put head phones in my ears and fall asleep into the beautiful realm of music. It was the one thing that has always brought me life. But I can remember sitting there getting so much into the music, and I began to play pretend, so I began banging on the keys of this piano, surely my mom wouldn’t mind this from the occasional pots and pans that I would constantly beat on around the house. However the erching sound of notes being played that seemed to make no sense at all began to bother me way before it did my mother. So then I started thinking I need to make this sound better, so I began tapping on note at a time trying to find one that sounds similar to the ones I heard on the TV. I found one…..then another…..and another……this was so fascinating to me and I then closed my eyes and became apart of the music about two minutes into the music I opened my eyes only to see my mother with tears flowing down her face, I paniced! “mom what is wrong? Why are you crying?” she then kneeled down to me and said “baby do you realize what you are doing?” and I looked down at the keyboard and my fingers were playing the song on the TV…..not just pecking notes, but my hands were playing actual chords….it scared the life out of me! I kicked the keyboard across the room and quickly turned the TV off, my mom tried to explain to me that what was taking place was a gift from God that was being birthed from inside of me. But I was wanting to hear none of that at all …so for about 6 months no one in the house could speak the word music, listen to music or even say anything referring the to bible or God, otherwise I would leave the room! However those six months had past and I heard this beautiful song on the radio by KaCi and JoJo called all my life. I snuck out of class one day into the auditorium of my school where they had a piano that I absolutely loved. And I began playing that song by KaCi and JoJo, I turned around only to see these 4 beautiful females that went to my school…”Tremayne you can play the piano?”…….”why yes I can!” with a cocky, arrogant look on my face. And I began to think to myself I could be on to something here. I continued to pluck on the piano every now and then but not to much. I would start playing in my church, but became easily intimidated by the other musicians and would quickly stop playing. Or the other musicians would ask me to stop playing which was basically telling me that I sucked. It hurt my feelings, but once again I held it in, pushed through it and kept moving on…why? Because I was God’s secret weapon.

Growing up as a young boy I could never understand why people didn’t like other people because of the color of there skin….then as I began to get older and start understanding different denominations I could never understand why some people would not affiliate themselves with others because of there denominations. It was something I found so confusing. I had many girls that liked me and wanted to date me but could not because there parents would get mad at them or tell them that dating outside of there race is wrong ect! I can remember going to some parties and even tho I knew every person in the building, for some strange reason I felt like a outcast, all the girls would drink, dance and have a great time with all the guys…except me, and I can remember hearing a group of girls speaking and saying “Tremayne is really really cute and funny…but there is just something different about him, like he’s not suppose to be here in this atmosphere” and then the whole group of girls agree. Once again leaving me as an outcast. But it was a tale of reason by my father above who only had plans brewing in the pot. I can remember going to a church revival a few weeks later, and when I walked into the doors the evangelist who was preaching that night called me to the front, and she spoke to me and this is what she said “ young man, there is a great calling and anointing upon your life, when you walked into the church tonight I could not stop starring at you because as you walked down the isle I seen two angels above you, and they were playing harps, and there were music notes falling down on you…God is getting ready to use you to do something never done before, seek him.” I stood there in amazement. Several weeks after that it was prophesied over me that God was getting ready to send me on a journey, but I would have to take that journey alone….(laughing to myself) little did I know that this journey that he spoke was taking me all the way out to Kansas!

So I get to Kansas and I know no one, there is nothing to give me comfort in the art of scenery. My eyes had traveled as far as the eye could see. Never stopping….another neat thing they had was water that would shoot up out of the ground for irrigation. As I stood there like a child who just scene the big red fire truck for the very first time. But as I was out there alone, I distanced myself from everyone. I was attending College on a basketball scholarship, at Kansas Wesleyan Univ. and all the kids were into the party life. Drinking and smoking, having sex any and every chance they could get. And even tho I was tempted to try and fit in with that atmosphere, I could never mustard up enough courage to do so….my teammates and I didn’t get along from day one. I often questioned the fact of how in the world I was playing basketball at that time. Because of the fact that I didn’t do what they did and was new to the system of the game I was once again the outcast. So like everything else in life I distanced myself from my teammates. I would show up do my part and leave go back to my room and sit or watch TV. At this time I was a BioMedical Chemistry major which had a lot of people shocked because of the Tremayne the use to know in high school, who was the Zack Morris of our time. But like everything else you grow up and I decided I wanted to make something of myself and if I was gonna study anything then I was gonna go all out! So I said why not be a doctor! Plus I have a deep passion for radiology. During this time however I had this tug at my heart that felt as if it was pulling me in another direction. And that direction was music. The previous summer while I would sleep at night God would begin to minister to me. He would give me the same dream, over and over again, and it would be the exact same vision. I would see people, so many people of different skin color and denominational background under one roof worshiping God, and some of the sweetest music my ears had ever been introduced to…and then the distance I would hear a sweet sweet whisper, it was the voice of the lord and he would speak these three words to me: “We Are One” and then I would wake up. This went on for 3 months, during the 3rd month I began to hear the music in the concert very clearly and I would wake up and begin playing on a keyboard that ran off batteries from Wal-mart. I would play then write, play then write, until I thought I had a grasp of the song then I would go back to sleep. Well I finally told the pastor of the church I was attending about my idea and he was skeptical at first. I remember he told me “I’m not sure if you can get all these different people to come together like that” but I pleaded and pleaded with him saying “I really think God is telling me to do this and if its him then we will know because the vision will be correct” so he finally agreed. So I assembled a choir of young adults juniors in high school all the way up to College Students…even had a group of kids that I called “little ones” I wrote 4 songs taught them to the choir and proceed to put on this event that I so cleverly name “We Are One-When All God’s Children Come Together”. I had all my singers wear white t-shirts and on the front they could design there the number one any way they would like…then on the back I had them write there denomination and put an “X” threw symbolizing that in God’s eyes he see’s nothing but your spirit….. well it turns out that during this night of the performance the church in it history had never been as full as it was that night. Seats were packed, there were people lined up against the walls, which did nothing but confirm what I knew all along, that God was speaking and calling me do something amazing. Well I lived in the lower part of Kansas…by the time I got back to my dorm room word had already reached all the way up to Kansas City about a young man who was about to take the music industry by storm. So fast back to the tugging on my heart. My teachers and faculty had began to receive word of what It was that I had done over the summer and the success and I slip one day and they heard me singing a new song I wrote and playing the piano. They then sat me down and told me I should switch my major to music instead of BioMedical Chem…..not that I couldn’t handle BioMed because my grades were fine…but they began to think maybe you should learn you craft since I was doing all of this song writing, composing and teaching without the ability to read music or notes, let alone even fine the C note on a piano. So I gave it some thought, and during this time I was struggling with basketball because I just felt like I was hurting the team more then I was helping…I would be dribbling down the court writing a song in my head and turn the ball over only to upset my teammates. So I stopped going to practice for a week or so….then as Christmas break came I went back home to Virginia wanting to see my family that I missed so dearly, allowing my eyes to gaze upon my nephew whom I had seen for the very first time. While there I began go to a quiet place and think of the previous semester and collect my thoughts with BioMed and music…and with basketball…..well I decided to impress my coaches and show up early back to campus and see if I could get back on the team. Little did I know my act of wanting to impress would just be thrown right back at me.

I showed up back on campus about a week early because I wanted to go and talk to the coaches and get some work out time in…Well little did I know that there was a break in on campus and because I wasn’t officially back on the team yet I wasn’t suppose to be on campus because the basketball team were the only people allowed on campus at that time…So guess who was the number one suspect all of a sudden. I got a phone call to come to the main office and then as I walk in I see police and several teachers with a look of disgust on there face and me clueless to what was going on….they then begin to explain to me the situation and I free tell them it wasn’t me and without even being asked volunteered my finger prints, DNA and anything else that they may need to clear my name. The police took them and pulled me to the side and told me that he knew I didn’t do it and things were gonna be okay, but the damage had already been done because now I had been looked at as something that I wasn’t. Well this exact same day while working at the buckle, I found myself giving a discount off of what I thought was the right blue jeans to be discounting since the sign was right above these jeans, but it was not the case and tho I tried to prove the obvious I was still released from my job. And as if things couldn’t get any worse I had a balanced due to my college I was attending for the semester that had to be paid off in order for me to continue to go there the next half, well that money got stolen and I had no way of paying and had to have my stuff moved out and no longer allowed to go there. THIS ALL HAPPENED IN ONE DAY!! I began to feel as if God was picking on me. Even after going to church faithfully, I was apart of the fellowship club on campus and everything I was doing all the right things and all the wrong things are happening….Then while I was praying one night to get some kind of understanding, God spoke to me and he said “In order to share a Testimony you must go through a Test” so as I have always done in my life I held the hurt in and pressed forward. A man by the name of Daniel Masterson got in touch with me and spoke to me and invited me to his College Campus, he told me about the music program and had me set up an audition. So I went to the audition without any sheet music and sat down at the piano, when the professors came they looked and said were is your sheet music and I told them I don’t have any. They then asked well how will you play and I said I wrote something I was play for you guys from my concert this summer, so after some thought they allowed it. When I was done, looks of amazement we’re all over there faces, as one spoke up and said “Young man you’re a prodigy” and I was like “oooh who is she, sounds cute!” but when I found our the true meaning of prodigy a sense of pride and proudness came over me. For the first time in my life I felt wanted for a reason that wasn’t made up or a lie. So I continued to do the music there and still writing and recording and word began to spread about this young man at college and his music. Articles began to get written and news teams came and did interviews and it spread from one state to another until finally it hit my home town…the place were I would be honored and praise to the highest of any…..or was it so…..

When I came home to Virginia for the summer there were articles about my music everywhere, I would walk the streets and hear people say “that’s the guy…that’s him! Its him!” people would stop there cars in the street just to give me a hug and congratulate me. I was so honored for myself and my music. I loved being home around such positive energy!! But that energy was soon to be depleted. My mother receive a phone call and the voice on the phone spoke these words” I heard your son’s article in the paper was a lie!” my heart crumbled in a thousand pieces, one after another the word began to spread “do you remember how much he use to lie, what makes you think he’s telling the truth now!” I was so hurt, all this time I had chosen to start doing the right then and still yet people wanted to hold on to the past, the old Tremayne. Little did they know that I went to church one night and I had been delivered from that lying tongue for years then. Little did they know of the impact on lives my music was causing, saving lives and opening eyes. No they choose to stay on the path of the past, not letting go and being judgmental. And it hurt more then any hurt because for the first time in my life I was doing something and doing it very legit, and people were trying to tear it down. And I remember one night sitting in a corner with tears of pain flowing down my face and I remember God speaking to me and saying “Don’t let your past dictate what I have planned for you in the future. Keep walking in the vision, I’ll take care of those who try to oppose you” So with the hurt I had held in for so many years I sucked up one more layer and continued to press on with my next concert that I held in my home called “Only The Beginning-God’s not done with me yet” But I decided that if I was gonna do this concert I wanted to be right in my spirit 100% so I went to church and got set free of something’s I had been holding on too….but that wasn’t enough I wanted to receive a special anointing over my life well a pastor during a revival called me to the front and prophesied that over me….I decided that wasn’t enough, I wanted a double anointing over my life, went to church, got called to the front and it was prophesied over me as well. ….decided still not enough I wanted to be guard things I wasn’t doing but might have the possibility to get into, so even tho I wasn’t doing anything wrong because my walk with Christ was very strong…so I began to think like a man, what could me as a man get into…thought about it and went to the altar during service and had the preacher deliver me from Temptations, pornafication, lustful thoughts and anything else that my hinder my calling, I was set free from that as well. So I went home and talked with God and said “well lord there is one thing missing, I get that and im good to go!” the very next night at a revival a preacher called me to the front and ask me “son do you have the holy ghost? I said no and he laid hands on my chest and instantly I began to speak in tongues and received the holy ghost on that night. Well a smile came across my face, I had all the tools I needed, Satan better watch out!!!

So the night of the concert came and as I was performing a song Jesus revealed himself to me….and even with the music playing and my choir singing I heard nothing but silence then God allowed me to look out onto a packed house of fans wanting to hear my music and the look on there faces was so emotional, I seen faces that were proud, I seen faces who’s eyes had been open from one way of thinking, I seen faces who may have been lost in the world but came back to Jesus. And in the midst of it all God began to reveal my past to me, the days with no father, the homeless nights, the heart ache, the being accuse of stealing and my named dragged in dirt ect. He just began showing all these things, but he also showed my obedience of not matter how much hurt I was going through I pushed it, struggled with it, but I kept pressing on. I didn’t let words and anything stop me from my goal and that goal was the obedience of the word of the God. Then God spoke and he said, in spite of all the hurt you have been through and gone through you have still stay obedient to my voice…even when people tried to tell you that it couldn’t be done and that the visions were not true you held in the hurt and kept pressing forward…he then spoke said, because of such obedience it is my promise to you that there is good coming out of your situation. And it just so happened that at that time I was actually performing the song I wrote called There’s Good Coming Out Of Your Situation. And right there on stage in front of friends and family I broke down into tears. But his promise is true. Since then I have been signed with a producer, I have been asked to perform a number of concerts, and I was just represented by one of the worlds leading music companies….so not only am I walking in a vision that I know is true but Im also living a dream. So I say to you that no matter what struggle your going through, or heart ache you just think you can’t bear, if you can find that strength to press on through and trust that God has your back…then there is Good Coming Out Of Your Situation. Thank you for all who have fell in love with my music I hope to get a cd out to the public soon. God bless and I love each and everyone of you. Thank you for letting me share my story with you. God bless!